Divorce and Children

Your “Good Enough” Marriage is Good for Your Kids

We found this article in the Huffington Post, encouraging parents struggling in a mediocre marriage to work on it and stick it out, if only for the sake of their kids.

Elizabeth Marquardt conducted a national study focusing on young adults from divorced and intact families. She found that divorce forces children to try to make sense of the two different worlds their parents live in on their own, while married parents make sense of their worlds so their children don’t have to. Married parents share one set of values and beliefs with their children, whereas children of divorced parents receive differing messages of values and beliefs, which they have to interpret and compare. This creates confusion and isolation, often times leading children to feel like a different person in each parent’s world. Children then feel that they have to answer life’s big questions; “Who am I? Where do I belong? Is there a God? What is right and wrong?” on their own.

Marquardt explains that about two thirds of marriages that end in divorce are low conflict. She urges couples whose marriages are not plagued by violence, infidelity, or addiction, and which are low conflict to consider their children. She informs us that even if we think that splitting up wouldn’t harm out children, in reality it certainly would.

At a time when divorce seems to be commonplace and socially acceptable, it’s good to hear that even secular sources are now telling couples that divorce is wrong.

Click here to read the entire article.

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